Not a “Play Pretend” Mom? You’re Still Enough
Some moms seem to thrive in a world of make-believe. They happily crawl around as dinosaurs, host endless tea parties, and let their kids dress them up as royalty. If that’s you—amazing. If that’s not you—welcome to the club.
Here’s the truth no one says out loud: not every mom enjoys pretend play. And that’s okay.
Your kids don’t need a perfect playmate
Children are wired for play. It’s how they learn, experiment, and make sense of the world. But that doesn’t mean you have to be their co-star in every drama. Your kids need your love, presence, and safety more than they need your acting chops.
When you feel guilty for not loving pretend play, remind yourself: “Connection is more important than performance.”
Connection without costumes
If sitting cross-legged in a fort pretending to be a talking dog isn’t your thing, here are some other ways to bond:
Be the commentator. Watch their play and narrate: “Wow, you lined up all the cars in a row!” or “That tower is taller than you are!” Kids light up when their world is noticed.
Invite them into your world. Cooking? Let them pour or stir. Doing laundry? Ask them to find matching socks. Kids often see chores as play if you let them join.
Lean on low-pressure play. Reading, puzzles, painting, or even dancing to music—these are all forms of play that don’t require pretending.
Make rituals. A secret handshake, a bedtime blessing, or even a special snack tradition creates connection without playacting.
The gift of letting them lead
When you step back from directing play, you actually give your child a gift: the freedom to lead. Imaginative play strengthens problem-solving, empathy, and creativity. By letting them run the show, you’re showing them you trust their ideas.
You can still dip in and out—ask a question, add a silly sound effect, or build the first Lego piece—but you don’t have to carry the whole story.
When guilt creeps in
It’s easy to look around and feel like “good moms” love pretend play. But here’s the reality: every mom has strengths. Some thrive in creative storytelling. Others shine in teaching, adventuring, or snuggling. The beauty is that your kids get you.
Instead of trying to become someone else’s version of a mom, lean into who you are. Show up authentically, and your kids will feel it.
You are enough
Pretend play might not be your favorite, but that doesn’t make you less of a mom. Your love, your presence, your willingness to show up in your way—that’s what your kids will remember.
Years from now, they won’t be saying, “My mom was the best pirate.” They’ll say, “My mom loved me. She noticed me. She made me feel safe.” And that’s worth far more.
